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Tomorrow is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

August 19, 2012

ImageChange.  It is such a small word but it has such huge impact.  I must admit, I have never been the kind of girl to embrace change.  I am very much someone who has a schedule and sticks to it in pretty much all that I do and that even includes weekends.  I know I sound like SO much fun, right?  I am just very much one who likes to know what to expect, or at least to believe I know what to expect.  So how did I get to this point of resigning from my job of 7 ½ years with no job secured, and a deadline to move to a state far away without a place to move to?

Major life events can do that to you; send you spinning and catapulting you into the unknown.  That is what happened to me, a major change in the family dynamic and one for the better that has left my mother and me searching for a new place to live far from Miami where we have lived over three decades-the vast majority of my life.  I may as well be honest and come right out and say that I have never liked Miami and obviously as a little kid I didn’t have much say in the matter.

I missed the seasons of Milwaukee, my hometown, and the feeling of being accepted and just being comfortable.  I cannot honestly say I have ever felt at home in Miami, sure I am used to it by now and it is very familiar but I am not in love with the city and never will be.  Of course, my aversion to heat doesn’t help, pretty much with very few exceptions; Miami is hot all year round.  90’s in January?  No thanks, I can definitely pass on that.  I love seasons and my favorites are autumn and winter.  I know, boy have I been living in the wrong place.

What has kept me here?  The feeling of familiarity, the fear of change and of taking a risk which is why it took something outside of myself to propel me to give something new a chance.  There is so much to do, like finding a place to live extra fast…this has really been a challenge since we have many considerations; but I hope and pray we will find a livable space for Moo (my mother) and me.  We have so much left to pack up and we need to get a move on it.

A new chapter is about to begin, and I don’t know what will be on the page after I turn this one.  There certainly will be things that I will miss about Miami.  I will miss the lizards; they are so familiar to me now.  I will miss how the city never sleeps and how there are always people about and there is always something open somewhere and I will certainly miss the sourdough cheeseburgers at Swensens.  Miami has been my home for over 30 years and even though I have never truly acclimated myself to her, I am still very grateful that she has given me a place to live and to learn so much in the many years I have been here.

I am scared, I have no idea what to expect and I have never done anything like this in my life.  However, I know it’s about time that I did.  I don’t have to choose to be unhappy in my surroundings just because they are familiar-I can scout out my happy surroundings or at least take the gamble of finding them.  I may fail but I may succeed there are no guarantees in life.  I may just find that my only regret will be not having taken a chance sooner.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. thepatchworkpumpkin permalink
    August 19, 2012 2:21 am

    I’m proud of you. It was about time to go after a change that will make you so much happier. i can understand though – sometimes the comfort of familiar is safer and easier than braving the unknown, even if you might be happier in the end. You need to be happy. Am Autumn/Winter girl could never be happy in Miami. You need seasons, and you will have them where you are moving to. It is great though that you are leaving Miami with some form of fondness. It’s a more peaceful separation than leaving running, screaming from there. Which would be understandable if you did. (And will probably be how I live this place when I can move.)

    Failure is not a possibility. You will get it all settled, worked and figured out. And then you can truly be happy. Where you are moving will have its imperfections, but I know you will be so much happier. Good luck to you in your preparations! ❤

    • August 19, 2012 2:24 am

      Thank you so much for the encouragement. I know the change will be a good one, even if there are a few bumps in the road.

      I looke forward to when you start your journey to your new home as well. xoxo

  2. Wednesday Woe permalink
    August 19, 2012 2:31 am

    Change is really hard for me too. Familiarity is comfortable. But I am sure that when this all over you will be dancing with glee in the freshly falling snow like a little kid. 🙂 I know the perfect house waiting for you guys with your name on it. 🙂

    • August 19, 2012 2:38 am

      I bet you are right, and I will wonder why it took so long to move! You know I will keep you guys informed every step of the way! 🙂

  3. August 19, 2012 6:17 am

    Applesauce-fear means you’re alive! You’re alive!! Really though the picture spun decades ago to get thee out of Miami. This may be by force in a sense but it is also by grace. Trust, pray, hope and don’t worry.

    • August 19, 2012 3:57 pm

      Then I am VERY alive indeed! 😉 I know, it will be an adjustment but I think it will be a wonderful change for the better. Now impatience is mixing with fear and I am getting impatient to start. 🙂

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