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In Our Hearts Always~Desi

March 17, 2012

Sometimes I don’t understand why things happen, and the death of our sweet cat Desi on March 11th,  is one of those things.  I can’t really sufficiently express how the death of this one little cat has affected me, but I literally feel heartbroken.  I noticed late Saturday night that he didn’t seem right, the way he was sitting, and then I noticed he had discoloration on his chin most likely from vomiting.  I cleaned him up and wanted to get some fluids into him, we weren’t too successful, so we wanted to get some special fluids and try again the next day.   We initially thought, or rather hoped, it was a bit of tummy trouble.

Desi the beautiful

We got home from morning Mass, and he seemed worse than the night before.  We looked up emergency care facilities online, but I don’t get paid until Thursday, and we would have enough for the visit but not any treatment.  My sister called and I explained the situation and she said to transfer money from her account and to use what ever we needed.  We put Desi in a basket with some blankets and headed out the door.

Absolute cuteness!

Desi started acting up in the car and meowed; because he was not enjoying the ride, probably less than 10 minutes later and almost by the vet’s office, Desi died.  I immediately called my sister to tell her, I was crying and so upset that she ended up comforting me instead of the other way around.  I made it home, but I wasn’t the same as when I left.   When I left I was worried and frantic, and I returned home defeated and broken.  I felt as if I had failed this sweet little cat that happened into our lives about 7 months ago.  He was healthy and there were no signs of illness when we had him neutered a couple of months ago.

The mother of Lucy and Desi has had countless litters and she is old and her kittens might be inbred…we have been unable to catch her though we have tried numerous times.  Desi’s illness came on so suddenly our only guess is that it must have been something congenital. Our other cats are same as usual, and we don’t have any plants or flowers in the house, there is nothing he could have gotten to.  It is a horrible puzzle and mystery which will remain unsolved.

Desi with his sister Lucy

Desi and his sister Lucy literally found us.  My sister opened the door one day and a little kitten, who would be Lucy, came bounding into the house.  My sister went outside and looked in the bushes and there was Desi, so we had two kittens which we definitely didn’t need; but who we couldn’t turn out.  They were very loving kittens right from the start and behaved as if they belonged, they were not scared or intimidated by the bigger and older cats, and fell in along side of the others from day one.  The other cats accepted them immediately probably too much in shock by Lucy and Desi’s boldness to do anything else.

Lucy and Desi were inseparable, you would never find one very far from the other which held true to Desi’s last day.  Desi was white with deep greenish gold eyes and such an expressive face.  He was always so good to our oldest cat Esmeralda, snuggling by her and keeping her warm.  We thought Esmeralda was sure to go first now at 19 years old, but it was to be Desi, a cat that didn’t even get one full year here with us.  I would never have guessed he would be the next to go, and I would never have guessed how losing him has made me feel.  I feel so completely flattened, it is not that I was particularly close to Desi, I loved him to be sure, but I just gave him the regular pets and scratches.  I feel he was taken so young and it seems so unfair, though I know there is no such thing as fair in this life filled with so many inconsistencies.

Desi spooning our oldest cat Esmeralda

I know some people might think he was just a cat.  Desi was indeed a cat, but one that was loved and cherished and one who is and will continue to be keenly missed.  He was so special, and had such a particular way of looking at you, as if trying to figure out what you were thinking.  All Desi would have to do is see my sister and he would start to purr.  I gave him a kiss from my sister before we laid him to rest; sadly my sister was still out of town from going to my uncle’s funeral Saturday.

Desi and Esmeralda

I guess part of my sadness is just my being selfish, not being content with the time we were given Desi and wanting more.  He obviously wasn’t destined to be here long, so I want to try my hardest to see the brief time we had him as a gift.  I am not saying this will be easy but I need to try for the others left behind.  Thank you Desi, for your sweetness, your beauty and for sharing your life, no matter how short, with us for this we are truly thankful and blessed.  I promise to give Lucy extra snuggles for you, and when we meet again, my heart will be whole because you took a piece of it with you.  Rest in peace little one, we miss you and we love you so very much.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. Fern permalink
    March 17, 2012 5:23 pm

    Desi is beautiful – such a sweet little face! I am so very sorry for your loss. That is a very painful way to lose a pet that you love. 😥 Lucy is precious too – you can give her extra love from here on out. I don’t know if you were being selfish – when you love something, and it loves you back, there is nothing wrong with wanting to be together. He had a happy life with you – even if it was too short. He will always be an Ebert – a part of your family, and even if he is living away from you right now, it won’t be forever.

    • March 17, 2012 5:25 pm

      Thank you Fern, yes he will always be part of our family. I tell you when it’s our time there is going to be a furry stampede of love to greet us. That is kind of something to look forward to! 🙂

  2. March 17, 2012 5:36 pm

    So shocking and I’m so sorry you guys had to go through it alone. I miss him so and his little face and sweetness. I feel so lucky to have had him for seven months-he was dearest, mildest kitty and so easy to love.

    • March 17, 2012 5:42 pm

      We were lucky to have him, it was very hard, but in a way I am glad you weren’t here for it. You were and always are a terrific comfort to me. I love you.

  3. March 17, 2012 7:35 pm

    PlumaBlanca, the working cat here, mommy read me this post and I yam soooo sorry for yous loosing a very fine young cat. He looked like he was very happy with you. I yam a white cat, found lost outside when I was too young to take care of myself and so I know how wonderful it is to find a mommy to take care of a lost kitty, I am glad he had you to love him, feed him and pat him, and that he had a warm home all winter. I yam purring for yous to feel better.

    • March 18, 2012 2:50 am

      Thank you sweet Pluma, for your sweet heartfelt wishes. I think I can speak for your mommy too when I say we are blessed to find sweet kitties like you to take care of and to love because you give us love and comfort in return.

  4. pussincahoots permalink
    March 18, 2012 3:04 am

    How terribly sad, but although his life was short he was clearly much loved. Some poor kitties never get that. My deepest sympathy to you and your furry family.

    • March 18, 2012 3:14 am

      I am grateful for that to, that he had love and a home. It is heartbreaking to think of all the poor little ones that never know shelter and love. Thank you for your kind words.

  5. July 8, 2012 2:07 am

    I know it sad right I lost my baby kitty rascal, just a note you can get pet ins for your animals and i recommend embrace pet ins the best thing i ever did for my cats

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